Award recognizes Indiana woman’s devotion to in-law with Alzheimer’s

Mary Jean Bujdos didn’t hesitate when called upon to tend to her 92-year-old mother-in-law, Veronica Bujdos, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Her husband, Joe, took notice, and he nominated her for the 2015 Spirit of Caring Award, presented by Indiana Regional Medical Center Behavioral Health Services.

Indiana resident Mary Jean Bujdos was the recipient of the ninth annual award. She was selected from 13 nominees who, without receiving monetary compensation, dedicate themselves to one or more individuals who suffer from a chronic or debilitating illness like dementia or cancer or who have a disability, .

“You are very amazing people, and everything you do as volunteers or caring for somebody,... this county couldn’t do it without you,”?Indiana County Commissioner Patricia Evanko told the nominees at the recent Spirit of Caring award luncheon.

“As I?looked around the room today, I?could see in the faces of the other nominees that we all collectively feel that it’s not even a sacrifice because it’s something we do for love,”?said Mary Jean Bujdos. “There’s really no need for an award. I?see it as a group recognition for all of us and so many other people like us.”

Veronica Bujdos moved in with her son and daughter-in-law and their four children after a stay at McKeesport Hospital. The couple’s three daughters — Jeannie, 23, Veronica, 21, and Lucy, 19 — are now attending college. Son Joey, 15, attends Indiana Area Junior High School.

“It was about our children and helping them understand what it meant having a new phase in their relationship with their grandmother,”?said Mary Jean Bujdos. “The most important thing for us was keeping our kids involved. It was a busy time for us, but a good time for us to stop and realize that there was more around us where we could be helpful.”

Veronica Bujdos’s grandchildren have incorporated her into their lives. She attends high school sporting events when she can with use of a walker, but the family has respected her desire to stay at home when she isn’t feeling well.

“To keep her motivated and feeling like a part of the family structure, on some of those nights, we were fortunate to have a local radio broadcast available to her with an occasional ‘shout out to Gramma’ when her granddaughter scored a basket,”?Joe Bujdos said in his wife’s nomination application.

The Bujdoses originally took in Veronica Bujdos in December 2012 thinking it would be for a brief stay over the holidays, after discussing things with other relatives.

“A thousand days later, as all caregivers experience, the term ‘sacrifice’ has taken on new meaning,”?said Joe Bujdos in his nomination.

They decided to welcome “Gramma”?into their home rather than sending her to a personal care facility.

“We knew she’d thrive better at home,”?said Mary Jean Bujdos, who has taken on the tasks of feeding, bathing and cleaning up after her mother-in-law, often at the expense of spending time with her own family.

To help her mother-in-law preserve positive memories, Mary Jean Bujdos ensures that she is immersed in her favorite pastimes — listening to the music of Hank Williams and Johnny Cash and watching reruns of “The Andy Griffith Show”?every evening.

The family has learned life lessons along the way, especially in regard to Veronica Bujdos’ perseverance through physical and emotional stresses, including speech complications resulting from her disease.

“She has no access to a lot of words,”?said Mary Jean Bujdos. “She just cannot verbalize. That’s what has become the most difficult for her.”

A typical day in the Bujdos household revolves around keeping a schedule for Veronica Bujdos, always beginning with a bowl of hot cereal.

“She has her little rituals,”?said Mary Jean Bujdos, noting the family lets her do as much as she possibly can on her own.

Both Mary Jean and Joe Bujdos work away from home. He is the mental health program director for Armstrong and Indiana counties, and she works part-time teaching Italian language classes at St. Francis University in Loretto.

If none of the children are home and his wife is working, Joe Bujdos will often take time from his day to check in on his mother.

Veronica Bujdos fills her afternoon doing something she loves — watching game shows. She’ll eat a late light lunch, then eat dinner, always at 6 p.m.

“Her food has become the most important part of her day. It’s a comfort thing for her,” her daughter-in-law noted.

Most of the food Veronica Bujdos eats must be ground up or chopped into small pieces to aid her in swallowing. Before bed, she’ll have a shower, dessert and watch her beloved “The Andy Griffith Show.”

“We have been able to see her decline in the last three years, see her needs increase, and everyone has just kind of stepped up to the plate,” Mary Jean Bujdos said. “Everybody has their own special way that they connect with Gramma.”?

That includes her grandson serving her a bowl of cereal and her granddaughters taking care of her nails and setting up her favorite music on an iPad.

“It’s unified as a family unit,” Mary Jean Bujdos said of having her mother-in-law as part of their household. “Our four children, when they come home from school, they all have something to contribute. They check on Gramma, they help Gramma. We’ve become her little team.”

A dozen other local women and men joined Mary Jean Bujdos as award nominees.

Among those recognized were:?Karen Cook, the assistant manager at Mahoning Towers in Punxsutawney, for her work at the low-income housing complex for the elderly; Sue Fink of Blairsville, for the care she gives to one mentally and physically handicapped daughter and to another who suffers from mental illness; Nicole Fritz of Blairsville, who has provided full-time care for her grandmother for the past three years; Patricia Gould of Shelocta, nominated for the care she provided to her mother, a double lung transplant patient; and Gloria Kanick of Indiana, who cared for her husband of more than 50 years, Bob, after he suffered from a stroke in 2012. Bob Kanick passed away at the beginning of November.

Also nominated were:?Jennifer Lee of Homer City, who became a caretaker and advocate for autism after her own young son was diagnosed; Cassie McCachren of Seward, who is a full-time caregiver for a 3-year-old son who suffers from a rare genetic disorder; Kathy Moyer of Clymer, for her dedication and service to her mother, who suffers from debilitating neurological disorders; Paul Neal of Creekside, for the care he provides for his cancer-stricken wife, Lori; Shirley Nealer of Homer City, a two-time cancer survivor and longtime hospice volunteer who has cared for countless friends, family and strangers; Cindy Uher of Indiana, for the support and care she gives to her mother and aunt, both diagnosed with breast cancer; and Gregory Wisneski of Indiana, who cares for his wife, who has multiple sclerosis, while also dealing with a cancer diagnosis himself.

The guest speaker at the luncheon was Dr. Joseph Buzogany, a psychiatrist with Neuropsychiatric Associates, Inc., an affiliate of Indiana Regional Medical Center. He spoke of taking care of his elderly mother, who recently entered a care facility.

He encouraged caregivers to take time for themselves, and to make use of the many resources and support groups in the area that can offer assistance and reinforcement.

He urged those who have taken on the responsibility of someone else’s well-being to learn as much as they can about their patient’s affliction.

“Remember, there’s a reason why they need you,”?he said. “They cannot do it for themselves.”

Gina DelFavero is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. She can be reached at 724-459-6100, ext. 2915 or gdelfavero@tribweb.com.