Santa Cruz County caregivers feel the stress

March 06--APTOS -- People all around Santa Cruz County are feeling the stress from being caregivers for elderly loved ones.

The oldest of eight children, Pam Dent promised her mom that she would take care of her, but she didn't expect to have back cancer when her mom had dementia.

Lizette Ponce remembers when her family rescued her grandmother, who had dementia, from her grandfather after he was abusive.

Juliana Cheng has been a live-in caregiver for her mother, translating for her at the doctor's office, but her mother refused to sign a release that would allow the doctor to share information on her condition.

Marilyn Raffaelli, who works in the Santa Cruz County'sHuman Services Department, found few friends would help after her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

Andrew Stewart, a manager in the county human services department, recalls visiting his grandfather at a care home but his grandfather, in the throes of Alzheimer's, tried to escape, saying he wanted to go home.

Such are the stories and the stresses shared Monday at the Second Annual Caring Community Summit organized by the county Human Services Department and hosted by Twin Lakes Church.

Patrick Arbore, 70, an award-winning researcher who has studied aging for decades, gave the keynote at the invitation-only event hosted by the county. About 60 people attended, including caregivers, representatives from the Association of Faith Communities, nonprofits and government agencies.

"Older people would prefer a conversation rather than a confrontation," Arbore said, calling out ageism and denial as challenges. "People are trying to remain at home as long as possible... Baby boomers are begrudgingly marching into old age."

In January, a crisis hotline he started at the Institute for Aging in Francisco tallied 13,000 contacts from older individuals, care providers and young people with disabilities, illustrating their isolation and loneliness.

Isolation was the top concern of Santa Cruz County seniors surveyed by the Seniors Council in 2015.

MURDER-SUICIDE

Among the issues Arbore sees are caregivers spending hours online researching a disease or services, increasing their anxiety, feeling guilty when they realize they can't keep their promise to care for loved ones, turning to alcohol to cope with stress, and murder-suicide pacts, often when the caregiver is male.

"That speaks to the enormous stress on the healthier spouse to care for the spouse who is ill," Arbore said.

When caregivers say they don't need help, he asks, "At what point do you think you'll need some help?"

The summit opened with a video from the BBC Network interviewing a widow, 95, a Royal Air Force veteran, sharing her home in London with a 27-year-old master's student new to the city. The arrangement benefits both.

"Connections are what bind us to life," Arbore added.

NEXT STEPS

"Are there enough services?" Rabbi Shifra Weiss-Penzias of Temple Beth El asked Arbore.

More caregivers are needed, especially young men, said Adriana DePena, who works at In Home Supportive Services and is active in the Service Employees International Union, but pay is low, $12.46 an hour.

Judy Hutchison, a Holy Cross parishioner, came to learn how to influence public policy, a small group session co-led by Santa Cruz City Councilwoman Cynthia Chase.

Sandy Skezas, county human services program manager, noticed how people respond when they are personally affected.

"We hope to get ideas and suggestions from you," she told attendees. "Maybe a year from now, we'll report out on what has happened."

RESOURCES

Some resources for caregivers and their loved ones in Santa Cruz County:

Free medical, dental and vision screening: April 28-29 at Seventh Day Adventist camp in Soquel. Email eurbina@cccsda.org.

Caring for caregivers: Support group meets monthly at Twin Lakes Church, Cabrillo College Drive, Aptos. Email care@tlc.org or gailolsondesigns@gmail.com.

Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center: 831-459-6639 or delmarcaregiver.org.

AlzheimersAssociation: Offers workshops at 1777-A Capitola Road in Live Oak.

Davenport Resource Service Center, a program of Community Action Board: Arranges potlucks for seniors. Call 831-425-8115.

Senior Network Services: Directory of senior services. Call 831-462-1433.

Seniors Council: Runs senior companion program. Call 831-688-0400.

Elderday, a program of Community Bridges: Serves people with Alzheimer's. Call 831-458-3481.

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